HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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DavyWagnarok's avatar
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Hear ye! Hear ye! I’m taking the soap box!


And this is what I have to say
:

Don't bother signing up for a gym membership you know you’re going to drop by the middle of next year. Besides, being healthy is shit you’re supposed to do. Making “be healthier” or “lose 20 lbs.” as a New Year’s Resolution is just as lame--and thoughtless--as a bad father telling himself he’s going to take better care of the kids next year.

There are two exceptions to this. First, is the actor/health nut/bodybuilder/nutritionist/athlete, whose status and livelihoods depend upon their physique. The latter is the morbidly obese, who should make losing body mass their numero uno priority in life. I don’t care if this pisses folks off. It’s not the chubby people I’m trying to help out here (they ought to be ashamed of themselves for getting so fat), but rather it’s the families and friends of this person my heart goes out to. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer last month, but the docs told me they would have been able to remove the tumor—and saved her life--if she hadn’t been morbidly obese. While I know she loved me, it obviously wasn’t enough for my mom to stop eating herself to death and take care of her body. That’s some heavy shit…

I digress!  

Remember the teachings of Bruce Lee:



Set the bar a little higher this year (not James Cameron high, mind you!) and construct three plausible goals, those being: a short-term goal, a middle goal, and long-term goal. These goals should benefit you, as a person, financially, romantically, intellectually, or spiritually (or all of the above).


A good goal might read: “Finally ask out the girl I like.” While the idea sounds fun, “fuck chicks” is actually a bad goal because there is no foreseeable conclusion to it. What chicks are you going to be shagging with? Where? How many—all chicks? There is no Mordor at the end of that journey; you simply cannot screw every female on this planet. Believe me, Gene Simmons tried.

So, set three goals and also give them deadlines, such as “I’ll finally ask out the girl I like by Valentine’s Day (wow, this guy’s setting himself up for some drama, lol).” Now make believe and pretend that this resolution is a serious commitment, a request from the brass if you will. Should you fail, you will lose more than your job—you’ll lose self-respect. Ouch. Those are the kinds of wounds that don’t heal very fast (unless you’re Wolverine).

Hopefully, your goals have more material value than working on your social game. You will feel a lot better in achieving “get on the National Honors Society” or “go back and get my GED” than you would “beating 50 games in one year.”



My goals for 2014 are as follows:

  1. Short-term goal: Play-test Neon City RUMBLE for 300 hours, create a fully-fledged game manual, and render 28 card arts (while my friend does the other 50), by March 01, 2014.
  2. Mid-term goal: Create an NCR website, prep Kickstarter, and create NCR Trailer/online tutorials by July 01, 2014.  
  3. Long-term goal: Whether successful or not, run NCR on Kickstarter in July, restart Skyzm with new card arts/style, and release the first issue of Renegade by December 31, 2014.  


That’s quite a list! But even if I’m able to do half of that it’s still quite a victory, and puts me in a better place than the year before.


Once more, this life stuff is the shit your supposed to do. You’re supposed to go out and make friends, get laid, drink, have fun, get married or move in with a significant other, experiment with drugs, have the worst hangover of the century, make babies, get lost in the city, get punched in the eye, get angry and break things, hold hands with the one you love, talk about the universe, smoke hookah, hug a hobo, chew out a hobo or addict for being a loser, quit smoking, eat an entire pizza by yourself, piss into someone’s mail box, run five miles and watch the sun rise for no reason, walk your dogs, go to the pool, have sex in the back of a car or some random place, throw up again, fart on your boyfriend’s back, break and make up with many people, fall off your bike, get Vin Diesel arms, play with bottle rockets, etc.


Living is not a goal, people.


Resolve to do better for yourself.



© 2013 - 2024 DavyWagnarok
Comments33
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Amargaard's avatar
Man, I'm impressed how you managed to stack all those wise words up on that tall pillar of more wise words. Wise words all over! 

go out and make friends - check
get laid - check 
drink - check 
have fun - check
get married - pending
move in with a significant other - lived with a good pal for 3 months, dunno if that counts, lol...
experiment with drugs - check 
have the worst hangover of the century - check
make babies - pending 
get lost in the city - check 
get punched in the eye - check 
get angry and break things - check 
hold hands with the one you love - check
talk about the universe - check
smoke hookah - check
hug a hobo - pending, talked to and shook hands with plenty tho  
chew out a hobo or addict for being a loser - why would I ever chew on a hobo? >.>
quit smoking - weed, check. Cigarettes, pending
eat an entire pizza by yourself - check
piss into someone’s mail box - pending, haha, but will definitely do some day x)
run five miles and watch the sun rise for no reason - pending
walk your dogs - check
go to the pool - check
have sex in the back of a car or some random place - pending in a car sadly, public toilet and inside a bush tho, haha ^^
throw up again - check, Christmas Eve man
fart on your boyfriend’s back - pending, although I admit I do not expect to ever get a boyfriend
break and make up with many people - check and pending, more to come hopefully
fall off your bike - check 
get Vin Diesel arms -pending 
play with bottle rockets - pending, the heck is bottle rockets? O.o 
etc - pending